I have been late to post this; I guess it's better late than never but I have a good reason too. I have been spending the last few days thinking and journaling about how incredible 2017 has been even though I didn't achieve most of my goals, I had set for 2017. Sometimes life takes a turn for the better.
I'll look at 2017 as a 'pause' year when I did nothing measurable from the list of goals. Life was on a pause as I took care of me and only me for the better part of the year and thoroughly enjoyed it. It's the year I have been the happiest I have ever been. But also, a year I have been the most humble and grateful.
Of everything that happened from finding out that I was expecting to have my first child, I have had some big lessons, but the most important of all is that I cannot do it all.
I am the kind of person that does not like to ask for help. I don’t know why I am this way but that’s how I am, and it has worked for me so far. But guess what?! You cannot be 9 + months pregnant and do everything like your pre-pregnant self. You cannot. You just cannot. Nor can you do things after you have pushed out a 7-pound human out of your body. So, I had to give in and ask for help from my partner, my family, and my friends. And learn to be okay with it. That was incredibly hard for me.
There is a lot spoken about how women should be independent, and my feminist-self have been quite opinionated about it. So, when I needed help while shifting apartments while 9 + months pregnant or when I needed to pee after surgery, asking for help was not easy. I had to sit back and stop pretending that anyone (man or woman) can do it all. It’s not realistic, and it’s not required.
I sit here thinking about all that I want to do in 2018, but I cannot begin working on them before taking a moment to be grateful. Grateful for a healthy pregnancy and safe delivery. Grateful for the incredible doctors and nurses who took care of my baby and me. Grateful for my parents who made the gruesome (nearly 23hrs) flight across continents to be there with me and help me in the first few months after delivery. My incredible sister and her family who dropped everything to come see my newborn and me from across the country. The friends who made sure to feed me when I couldn't cook. The friends and family who visited and the ones who couldn't but kept me in their prayers. And most importantly my husband. He has been incredible and been there for me in ways I could have never imagined possible. I can't help but be humbled and feel overwhelmed with gratitude.
I never want to forget this feeling. Thank you 2017!